Please grade my essay

gyyy2807
Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:18:44 +0000

Hi,

Please grade my essay. Please give a mark out of 12.

Question: Is the world changing for the better? (Official SAT Guide practice paper 6 essay)

Many changes were designed to make our world better. However, there still remain a few changes that have had negative effects on the world, namely climate change and terrorism.

Technological changes over the last century have been tremendous. The computer has revolutionized our lives in more ways than one. New transport methods, like plane travel, make mobility easier. The internet and mobile phone expanded communications. Nuclear power is now seen as an important replacement for the non-renewable energy resources. These examples show technology has improved the world – they have made lives simpler. So, we can conclude that in terms of technology, the world has improved.

Another area where the world is changing for the better is in international relations. Back in the Middle Ages and days of colonialism, countries frequently fought each other. One of the strongest French Kings, Louis XIV – who took France to a level of unprecedented supremacy – is rumoured to have said that he “loved war too much” on his deathbed. However, nowadays war is less common. The United Nations (UN) was set up after the Second World War with the primary aim of avoiding another world war. Over half a century later, we can say that it has succeeded in that aim thus far. Disputes between countries are now mostly resolved by the UN, rather than by military force. The UN’s various commissions and committees are involved in improving the socioeconomic development of many countries; they have lifted millions out of poverty and provided health care and education facilities to those who couldn’t afford them. Therefore, diplomacy between countries is now conducted on a base that does not promote warfare.

Globalisation is one of the effects of the change in international relations and is also in its own right an example of how the world is ameliorating. This not only provides economic advantages for countries which trade, but also reduces the likelihood of war. Trade, according to economic theory, will produce mutual gains for all countries that engage in it. For developing countries, this brings in much-needed investment, whilst developed countries enjoy lower labour costs. Because globalisation depends on trust between countries, the risk of war is further lessened.

In conclusion, the world is improving. Technological changes make lives easier. The new relationship between countries improves lives for all concerned. Our children should live a better life than we did.

Thanks in advance :)