Please help and grade my essay!

Wood5440
Sat, 09 Jun 2012 23:01:42 +0000

I’m sorry, but this essay needs work. It lacks specificity, coherence, and focus. Many of the sentences are not structured well and diction is weak in places. Is English your first language? Often diction and sentence structure are problems for those who speak English as a second language. Score 4/8

“many troubling events continued” Such as?
“many technological advances” What do you mention specifically other than fossil fuels?
“from political and economic problems” Such as?? (here you might simply name examples without explaining them in detail. ‘corruption, revolution, inflation, palace intrigue’

"…that the many cause of climate change has built up to what it is today." (S-V agreement and pronoun reference)

The paragraph about climate change is about climate change; resource depletion is beside the point.

Pronoun reference is often a problem.

The humor in the closing is fine, but the point (catastrophic events) should have been explicitly stated as in ‘…alien, meteorite or other catastrophic event…’