Please help edit Emory Transfer Short Essay

smorgasbord
Fri, 17 Feb 2012 19:57:35 +0000

Last year when I had first started searching for colleges I felt none of the colleges was right for me, so I just settled down for Mercer because they accepted me. Now I know that this was a bad decision because I do not feel like Mercer is right for me. I feel out of place here and I do not feel like I am expanding my knowledge from the courses.



Get rid of this. Don’t diss your current school.



I was disappointed by the lack of variety in the languages offered at Mercer because I want to take Korean. Imagine my excitement when I found out that Emory offers Korean. Moreover, I will be able to expand my interests and experiences at Emory because of the variety of courses and the diversity of the people there. I was so amazed when I saw all the courses offered and the stats show a multitude of different races, which I love. I love that Emory is so diversified because people of different races are able to better understand one another, which gives a sense of unity to Emory. Even though Mercer has diversity, Emory’s is far more astounding.
Overall, I want to transfer to Emory so I can take advantage of the courses, programs, diversity and environment.



This is all very vague. Be more specific than, “I want to study Korean, yay diversity, Mercer sucks.”



From the exotic languages offered to classes like the Coffee and Chocolate Freshmen Seminar, there seems to be many unique courses.



This is good. Expand.



The small class size makes it easier to learn and to ask for him.



Him???



I was impressed when I saw that Emory offered more than 300 clubs and organizations for students. Mercer offers about 100 clubs and organizations and I thought that was a lot. This quality of Emory is especially advantageous because students are sure to find a club that is right for them and I know I will too.



Again, stop hating on Mercer. All schools have clubs. Which ones are YOU specifically interested in joining and in what capacity?