Please help to grade my essay

Lilac2000
Thu, 26 Feb 2015 04:40:29 +0000

Hi guys can you please grade my essay. I took slightly more time than 25 minutes, about 2-4 minutes extra. Also is it necessary to use five paragraphs for 12? My tutor gives me only a six if i write four. Advice on how to write faster and feed back would be helpful.
The topic is :Do our experiences from the past help us in the future?
I believe the past plays an eminent role in the present; it not only teaches educational experiences, but also values which we shall never forget, values for life. Failure and evolution, are the ultimate keys to success, but like everything else they too need time.
Back in the time before Christ, it as the Greek philosophers who debated about the composition of matter. Theories abounded, few of which were that matter was made of fire, ice, wind, and air, but all of these proved to be wrong. It was not until the seventeenth century, however, Mr. Dalton a celebrated chemist, had a hint of what matter was made of: tiny particles. Scientists carried this this theory forward, and began to propound many theories as to what atoms were made of, and this is still going on today. Starting from atoms, to protons, neutrons and electrons, there are now even more impossibly minuscule particles, such as quarks, and hadrons. This proves that science is purely based on time, scientists will never stop trying to break down the “matter” discovered by the philosophers, until science dies.
Even after the discovery of the atom and experiments, of reactions, chemists began to arrange these elements, just as we students arrange out notes. Primitive scientist arrange them by mass,however later Mr Dobereiner, began to group them into triads. Finally, Dimitri Mendeleev, known as the father of the periodic table found out that previous theories of octaves, were true for all elements, and all he did was arrange the elements in order satisfying all the theories of previous scientists. Dimitri really did not have to do anything major, all he did was study the work of previous scientists, and prove is right. If he is the father, then those scientists who were born before him were grandfathers! Now we enjoy the fruits of their labour and use it to discover even more patterns and elements. Past work is the fuel of today’s discovery.
Another example is a volcano in Montgomery. Initially people in Montgomery never thought of the dangers of the volcano, using it as a blessing instead of a curse. They enjoyed, the fertile and rich soil, the massive profits from sulphur, and tourist money from geysers and hot springs, hence taking the volcano as a blessing rather than a curse. However it was not until the volcano erupted did they realize the true power of it. Millions died, either by the flood of melted snow, or because they were scorched alive by the lava. Later however they learnt a valuable lessons, and now the police of Montgomery have set a restriction zone preventing people from going too close to the volcano, and setting up emergency rescue teams, and educating the public about precautions, and safety measures.
The past is every body’s driving force, but it also matters as to how we handle it. It is not failure that teaches us lessons or great people from the past, but truly, what truly matters is how we take failures, and what we learn from the people before us.

Thanks in advance!