PLEASE!!!!!! Mark my SAT essay

studyzone
Sun, 15 Aug 2010 06:03:09 +0000

I would really appreciate if someone would mark my SAT essay, as I have only recently gotten serious with the SAT’s, but need to give them in October. Some helpful advice on how to improve would be well appreciated, as well.

ESSAY:

Topic: “Success is somebody else’s failure”

What is success? Success can be an achievement that is self satisfying, or, maybe, it is the act of defeating your opponent, and becoming the victor that can be called success. The latter would suggest that to win, someone else must lose, whereas the first meaning enables success without a double edge, a win-win for everybody. By presenting success as the product of a self-set goal, it becomes possible to have a situation where one succeeds at no one’s cost.

Being a well managed person, at the beginning of my day, I make a to-do list. As I pick up the milk, attend classes and make it in time to catch the football game, I tick of these accomplishments from my list. My miscellanies of achievements are all my own little successes. I had done all that I had set myself to do, and have hence succeeded. No one is going to lose because I bought a gallon of milk. I have become a successful person, without someone else failing. By setting my own goals, in my eyes, I have succeeded without any tradeoff.

Taking a slightly more rounded approach, a real world example can be utilized. Many people around the world get involved in the stock market. By purchasing shares, if the company concerned increases its net value or revenue, all shareholders have an increase in wealth, too. So, the company is of course benefitting from the profit, with the shareholders benefitting as well.

After reviewing my simple to-do list example, along with an example of larger proportions, it can be seen that success of one does not riddle others with failure. Rather, from the example of the stock market, one can succeed, while helping others succeed, too. Success in the eye of the beholder is what matters, as this makes sure that one succeeds at no one’s failure.

END OF ESSAY