Please read my admission essay!

URMtop5
Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:45:44 +0000

In addition to the advice given, I have 2 points to make that might help you on your next essay.

1) I would probably try to refrain from writing a short sentence and then beginning the next sentence with, “Then…” It just felt very elementary in that aspect.

2) A complete reversal from point #1, you used the word “siblings.” Do kids really talk like that? I.e. How often do you say, “I met my siblings for lunch this afternoon…”

Just a few points that I would think about.