Praying to Heaven

marite
Fri, 29 Apr 2005 16:43:26 +0000

This one thanks to Aussie relatives.

Heaven’s Answering Machine.:

Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English–Press 1; for Spanish–Press 2; for all other languages–Ppress 3.

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for requests; Press 2 for thanksgiving;
Press 3 for complaints; Press 4 for all others.

If you would like to speak to:
God the Father–Press 1; God the Son–Press 2; God the Holy Spirit–Press 3.

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his Social Security number followed by the pound sign. If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.

For reservations to Heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers 3:16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, or life on other planets, please wait until you arrive in Heaven for specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today; please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

Thank you and have a heavenly day.