Proof Read My Short Essay?

lisasou
Thu, 01 Mar 2012 11:55:02 +0000

The essay is to “Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1,000 character maximum).”

I know this my have some grammatical errors. I’m open to any contributions and criticism to this essay!

Every motion film is a masterpiece, whether it is deemed “good” or “bad” to the audience. While sitting in the movie theaters with the big screen before me, I close my eyes for a minute. What is it I hear? Footsteps, squeaky doors, gushing wind. None of these sounds are real. All the sound effects are created by a foley artist. I hear music playing in the background by an orchestra of talented musicians. I hear dialogue spoken from a script that has been edited several times. I open my eyes. I see a person. I observe their pose and attire. Every detail reflects their character and personality. I look at the environment. It’s carefully planned and constructed to illustrate an alternative world. I look beyond this alternative world and I imagine a set with lights and cameras. I see a director and a large team of people working several pieces of technology. I think to myself: This is where I want to be. I want to be involved in this masterpiece.

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