rate my NHS application essay!!!

halcyonheather
Sun, 21 Apr 2013 19:57:13 +0000

It’s obviously generic and boring as hell, but that prompt is just asking for it. I’m sure the essay is just a formality anyway.

I’m a grammar Nazi with no life, so here’s some nitpicking for you. Stuff I changed is bold. Stuff I would take out is in red.

The National Honor Society is an exceptional organization that allows students to help the needy, children, the elderly, and nonprofit organizations. I would be excited to join such a society because of the limitless opportunities it would present to me. Joining NHS would allow me to grow as a person and do as much as I can for others. In my years as a student, I have shown great examples of scholarship, leadership, character and service that I believe would qualify me to join this prestigious society.
As Wikipedia defines it, the word “scholarship” means “academic study or achievement; learning at a high level”. I consider myself a great scholar because I strive for excellence. I always aim to be the best in everything I do. As for effort, I make sure to fill my schedule with the most rigorous classes I can handle. I have taken all honors classes since the beginning of high school, and I aim to continue taking honors and AP classes in the future to reach my true potential as a student. I have also been on the honor roll since freshman year at my local high school, which demonstrates my eagerness to perform at the highest level I can. I believe that all students should try their best in everything they do, as I have demonstrated. As a scholar, I believe I am qualified to join this society.
In addition to being a scholar, I can definitely be considered a leader. Recently, I was invited to participate in the National Young Leaders Conference in Washington, D.C. This invitation indicates that I place emphasis on standing out from the crowd and demonstrating my unique qualities. For example, I cofounded an Indian dance club at my high school. This club is important because it is the first dance club at my school. It allows members of all ethnicities and races to enjoy and learn Indian dance, thereby promoting cultural diversity. In addition to school-related activities, I also bring my passions to the outside community. One example of this is my role as a youth leader at the temple that I regularly attend. This position allows me to explore my interest in Hindu mythology with other members. I am able to translate this attraction into classical dance, skits, lectures, and musical instruments that help young members embrace their cultural identity.
I consider myself to have a great character to join NHS. I embrace all ethnicities and celebrate the differences within everyone that ironically bring us closer. I have a positive attitude that comes in handy when communicating with others. I definitely believe in the idea that each person shapes his or her own destiny. This means that I recognize the importance of always doing my best so that I may shape my life into what I want it to be.
Finally, I have helped my community by volunteering in the medical field. I spent the last summer working at a home for the elderly, where I was able to listen to life stories, participate in activities – be more specific, and learn about working in the healthcare field. Volunteering is a valuable experience that has helped me become a better person. I look forward to continuing my volunteer work in the medical field in the future.
Because of my abilities and experiences as a student, I believe I can be considered a strong candidate for the NHS. I have demonstrated the scholarship, leadership, character, and service qualities necessary to join the society. I hope to be considered for placement in this prestigious organization.