Read and grade my argument essay from 2013 prompt?

Allude
Thu, 13 Mar 2014 03:46:47 +0000

@KLI586
You’re wordiness makes your explanations/ argument extremely vague. From reading the intro I have no clue and no idea what your thesis is regardless of how many times I read your intro. Overall, your arguments are strong but without a thesis I have no idea what you’re trying to support/argue.

tl;dr much support, no argument