Read my (hopefully) funny supplements

unhreal
Sat, 30 Dec 2017 07:23:07 +0000

Hey everyone, would love any thoughts. I just wanted to have fun with 1 app. I just wrote these - first draft, no edits yet. I haven’t started on the third one.

1. What factors influenced your decision to apply to Barnard College and why do you think the College would be a good match for you?"

"I want to attend Barnard because of it’s 3-2 engineering program with Columbia. The 3-2 engineering program is important to me because I don’t want to be an engineer in the future that’s stuck in a one dimensional job. Getting an initial, holistic, liberal arts education, especially at Barnard where the community is engaging and supportive, is exactly what I want in order to propel my future career as an engineer. And I’d love to spend another year paying ivy-league tuition. Dreams really do come true sometimes.

The reason I’m sure you’ve never heard before is New York! Barnard is close to the Upper East Side. I’ve only visited New York once and I wasn’t even near Barnard but I’ve watched all of Gossip Girl twice, so I’m pretty much an expert.

Lastly, according to a site called noodle.com, where students post about their school, Barnard is diverse, engaging, and prestigious. Thank you, Barnard alumna!"

2. Pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. What would you talk about?

"Without a doubt, Hillary Clinton. She is one of the most intelligent women on this planet, and she’s one of your most famous alumni of course! Wait - is this not Wellesley?

Anyways, an ideal day with Hillary would start off in her sprawling Washington D.C. mansion that she most definitely did not buy using the all the money from Wall Street she has never gotten. We would have tea, and talk about her challenges being a woman in a predominantly male work area. Hillary ran twice for presidency on the platform that she would not make radical changes. I would ask her why she didn’t change her policy the second time to something more action-oriented or appealing to the majority of voters. Also, I would probably ask her to considering hire me as her head of PR, because the way she tried to reach out to millennials last election was, at best, horrid. After all boring political questions aside, I would ask her to confirm or deny all of the conspiracy theories about her. 1) Is she really a lizard from outer space? 2) What about pizzagate? 3) Uranium to Russia?

However, thinking she would actually answer these questions would be naive, so the majority of the hour would be me in awe of how someone can answer questions without actually answering them, a skill I have yet to learn, but will one day. Perhaps I’ll learn it while taking courses at Columbia."