Really Depressed Right Now

Shawntc
Sun, 25 Nov 2012 23:48:46 +0000

I’m a computer science major, transfer student, currently in my junior year. Tonight I returned to campus from Thanksgiving Break and right now I’m in a really bad mood. It’s the kind of depression that makes you not even want to move due to apathy.

I have four classes this semester. One is an intro class so it’s an easy A. The other three are what’s getting me down.

The one bothering me the most, an electrical engineering class, is a class I may not even pass this semester. I have a 77 right now because someone screwed up the grading for labs and has my previous two as 0’s. We’re doing our final project right now, making an elevator. It’s due in four days and I just don’t know what to do. All that I have right now is basically stuff the lab instructor told me, but I really don’t know where to go with this. I just hate the idea of failing a class. Maybe that’s the unyielding perfectionist in me.

Then there is my 300-level computer science class. The only reason I’m passing that is because I visit the TA’s like every dang week for help with the weekly programming assignment. The stuff the professor teaches us, I just can’t get it to really sink in, I have a hard time truly understanding the material. If it weren’t for the TA’s I don’t know if I’d be passing that class. On my last exam, I got a 65. I passed, but oh so barely!

Finally, the history class. I’m actually doing relatively good in this, probably being one of the best students in the class. Two exams so far, got a 95 on both of them. The reason I do so well is because I invest a lot of time outside of class in it. In order to pass the quizzes and exams, you literally have to make an outline of the chapter. Some of these chapters are 30+ pages long. It is so. Dang. Tedious! I’ll spend 2-3 hours making that outline. Heck, one day I spent an entire afternoon on it, from noon til after dinner! It’s maddening.

I hate that I constantly have trouble with things. There’s always something I don’t understand, no matter how much I read or ask questions. Something always goes wrong, something doesn’t sink in. I realize that college is challenging and I’m learning new stuff but come on, is it really supposed to be this hard? I hate that there’s always something I don’t understand, it seems so impossible for me to do. I’ve had thoughts where I’m reconsidering college. Do I really need to go through all this? All I want is to get a decent job that I like, preferably web programming, where I’m not pinching pennies all the time. It sucks that college is so hard for me. I’ve been at my wit’s end so many times this semester, it’s insane.