Revise my personal statement please?

pacmancollege
Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:33:29 +0000

UC COMMON AP 1st Prompt: Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I believe that the world you come from is based on your mental disposition. In my world, the Boy Scouts of America have greatly influenced the outcome of my life so far. I have lived under a specific code of the Boy Scout law that expresses my moral mindset, as well as my honor as a young man.
I am the oldest son in a Korean-American family of four. Although I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I was grateful that we were not financially challenged or living in poverty. My father, who I consider to be the most respectable and caring man, was to thank for my serene and pleasant life. I looked upon him as my idol, and I have questioned him countless times on how to reach his level of success. Every time, he grasped my shoulder and told me that all young man must commit himself to a certain way of life.
When I entered third grade and my parents signed me up for an organization called Cub Scouts. I had enormous amounts of fun and had the luxury of experiencing new things like Pinewood Derby Racing and archery. When I entered middle school, I had to move on into Boy Scouts and the first thing that was introduced to me was the twelve points of the Boy Scout’s law. Those twelve points state that every scout will be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Those laws seem to represent the characteristics of my father, so I did my best to follow them. Whether it was simply helping my mother with the dishes or even refurbishing a worn out homeless shelter, I accomplished everything based on those Scout’s laws.They will guide me throughout my entire life.