Roommate Drug use

QuantMech
Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:58:26 +0000

For students reared in conservative Nerdville, it’s easy enough to set boundaries for oneself. Setting boundaries for someone you have just met is much trickier for those who aren’t assertive by nature. I don’t really see Marian’s strategy in #34 working out, at most places. The students go to the RA and ask to change roommates because they “can’t get along.” What RA would not ask, “What is the problem?” Then the OP’s daughter can say "Well, um . . . " or “My roommate won’t keep her drugs out of our room.” If the former, the RA will counsel them to try harder to work things out (as if it’s a question of who gets what towel rack, or how many lights can be on at 4 am). If the latter, now the OP’s daughter has created a problem for the RA, who can’t just turn a blind eye to the issue, as she otherwise might possibly do.

I agree that it’s awkward that the parent read the email, and that reading someone else’s email should be avoided in general. But once that has already happened . . . Also GladGradDad and I agree that there are 18-year-olds who are ready for college, but not ready to try to persuade/force a roommate to do something reasonable. Also, I do agree that it might be a misrepresentation by the roommate. On the other hand, I can think of no one I have known who used drugs in high school who did not continue to use them in college.