Roommate Drug use

GladGradDad
Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:26:38 +0000

momofthreeboys - Hipster mom! (your suggested response - good suggestion)



I agree with the poster who suggests if they can’t stand up for themselves they might not be ready to be in a residential setting.

While that’s true as an ideal I think there’s probably a fair percentage of new dorm residents, most of whom are 17 or 18 y/o and the first time living away from home without the parents to handle these matters, who are reluctant to stand up and make waves. They learn, largely by handling issues like this, but it can take some time and experience for many. The best solution is for them to stand up for themselves of course, but many of them will be more challenged by this than they will be a few years from now or especially, after having kids to care for (and stand up for). Some will allow themselves to be steamrolled by others before they finally get tired enough of that and start to stand up.

I think part of being ‘ready to be in a residential setting’ is a growing experience for many and they may start out not so willing to stand up for themselves but with more experience (and more confrontations/challenges) grow into it.

Regardless, I think it’s best for the parent to provide up front guidance on general issues, like what to do if the roomie ends up doing something illegal, annoying, dangerous, etc., and then for the student to handle the specific situations.

Back to the OP - I don’t think the OP indicated the D couldn’t handle it on her own - it’s just that the parent is concerned. I would be as well even though I have confidence in my kids’ abilities to handle situations like this.