Scared of Asian Parents

Happytimes2001
Thu, 18 Jan 2018 13:54:31 +0000

Hugs to you OP. I have friends whose daughter was a good not great student. They are a Korean family and wanted the daughter to be exceptional ( she wasn’t). She was also in a high level school. They also moved cross country and wanted the daughter to repeat a grade so she could get all A’s. From the outside, I could tell she is a great girl. Kind, filled with love and compassion and will lead a good life. She is not going to Stanford, however. The parents without realizing it, are putting ideas in her head that she is not good enough. To them, being immigrants and having to work incredibly hard to get a good education was the norm. They did it so they expect the same from their child. What they haven’t realized is, their daughter is an American and they are Korean-American with all that entails. I love this family but they are hurting their child with the stress. You cannot make someone an A student. Please get any help you need from school staff, counselors, anyone who will reach out to help you. Before you know it, you will be in college. You will find your way in the world. Perhaps, you may even understand down the road why your parents drove you so hard. You could try talking to them ( again and again) in a calm voice. I think any sane parent would listen to their child who was crying for help. IF they yell and scream ignore them. They cannot make you do anything. I would tell them you are going to do your best and they need to step back. One day you will realize that you cannot change some people, they have their strengths and weaknesses. In this case, the problem is theirs. Do not accept it as your own. You are your own person and have the right to do your best and not be harassed. You also have the right to be left alone. Maybe you could speak to one of your parents alone about this. Or even better have a family member tell them that what they are doing is wrong. There must be someone who can put them under the microscope a bit especially if they are so conscious of keeping up with status.