score my essay, please

thanakorns
Fri, 30 Nov 2012 08:43:31 +0000

topic: “People are difficult to govern because they have too much knowledge.” -Lao Tzu
What is your view of the statement above?

My essay (took me around 39 minutes):
Possessing knowledge results in thinking more critically. Knowledge makes people distinct from each other. Therefore, people tend to think based on their own knowledge before deciding to act or obey anything.

Knowledge allows people to render ideas critically. It creates a process in minds. With more knowledge, people tend to evaluate things more critically. As a result, governing people with knowledge tend to be more difficult. Philosophers like Socrates and Plato did not need to obey any order as their their knowledge is very superior.

 Logic matters when comes to governing people. They need to understand causes and effects and weigh advantages and disadvantages of certain actions before they act. More knowledge comes with more logic as knowledge is defined when things are perceivable. Abolitionists like Dr. Martin Luther King and Frederick Douglass possessed knowledge much more than ordinary African-Americans. Because of their knowledge, their logic grew stronger. They were able to recognize inequality of racial discrimination and so protested for civil rights.

 Knowledge can be accumulated from experience. As people grow older, they encounter more things and ideas. As a result, thinking process will change. From being a child to an adult, every person's thoughts change because of experience. A child is easily governed by his or her parents because he or she lacks knowledge and experience. But when a child becomes an adult who possesses more knowledge and experience, will he or she be controlled by parents like a small child? Well, not anymore.

 In conclusion, logic and experience, which come with more knowledge, make people difficult to be governed as they have their own thoughts. After all, a superior man is one with superior knowledge.