Score my essay

luciDream
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 21:56:00 +0000

Considering you had only 25 minutes to write an essay, this is a solid 9.
Pros:
Impressive use of vocabulary
Specific evidence
Quotes
Your point is straight and clear (not wishy-washy)
Cons:
Impressive use of vocabulary- now you may be wondering, what the heck is wrong with this guy? Well, the problem is that your use of vocabulary got to the point where it takes away from the essay rather than adding onto it. You have to realize the graders are highly stressed from reading hundreds of paper, and adding in impressive vocabulary (notice how I said just “adding”, and not “appropriately using”) willy-nilly isn’t going to take the stress off. Like Pi said (kudos for 2400 btw), everytime you use high-level vocabulary, the reader has to go back to verify its correct usage. Eventually, the scorers will be negatively affected as they begin to focus on the vocabulary rather than the essay itself. For example, there’s a sophomore in my English AP class, and everybody hates him because he uses extensive vocab (including the teacher); not sure if I’m allowed to do this, but check out his blog: [Bejeweled And Other Interesting Yet Simple Things](Bejeweled And Other Interesting Yet Simple Things)
Lack of indepth analysis for second paragraph
Lack of introductory paragraph
Lack of hooker/parter
Lack of 3rd evidence- just do it, even if the book says it’s optional

I may have been too harsh, but this is the way I see it.