Serious essay revision needed, please help

avantgarden
Wed, 18 Jul 2007 00:30:42 +0000

I’ve written my long essay for the common app, the 500 worder, and I am so nervous about it, it’s disgusting.

If I could please get some honest and constructive critiques, I would be so thankful.

It’s 558 words at the moment. I need to know if it should be cut back, and if so, how. I need to know if the topic is appropriate, or if it may be offensive, especially in parts. I would also like feedback on whether it gives any insight whatsoever as to who I am, if I need changes in word choice, etc. I’m sure that if you are into critiquing essays I don’t need to be listing my demands!

Really, I haven’t revised it on my own. It makes my stomach turn to think about it. So, please, if you’re interested, respond here. I could use the help, if just to point me in the right direction. I’m considering starting over entirely.

Thanks in advance. :]