Should I Transfer/Take a Semester Off?

greenkid
Sun, 03 Aug 2014 09:16:27 +0000

Hi everyone.

So I’m 19 years old and I graduated high school last year. The thing is, I did a dual credit program during high school, so I actually attended community college full time my last two years of high school. I got my associates degree the same time I got my high school diploma. So technically I’m going into my senior year of college (although I’ve decided to double major and have made plans to go to school at least a year longer).

I transferred to a somewhat large out of state school last year. I technically transferred in as a junior, but I considered myself a freshman because it was my first year out of high school and my first experience away from home. A long-time friend of mine who I’ve known my whole life (she’s like my sister - our parents are best friends, but we live an hour away from each other) went to school with me. I was really excited to go with her. We even ended up living in the same building and it started out a fun experience.

I lived in a den my first semester due to housing shortage. I lived with 3 other freshmen guys. I was very homesick at first and was having a very tough time adjusting. Two of my roommates lived at least somewhat close by and already had friends from high school, and one had already joined a fraternity. All 3 drank and I had little experience drinking, and didn’t go out and party.

Things eventually got better though, and the four of us started warming up to each other. The experience turned into a good one by the end of the first semester, and I had started getting used to life at school. The problem is we were kicked out of our den at the end of first semester. We had to find new housing for spring semester to open up the dens for other use.

I switched into a single dorm. I was fine at the beginning of the semester. I was actually happy having my own room. I liked having the privacy and being able to have more freedom to do what I want. But the friendship I’d formed with my old roommates seemed to slowly fade over the course of the semester. We would occasionally hang out and go get food together, but not too often.

I found myself becoming deeply depressed. My friend who had come to school with me had her own life and her own friends. We would occasionally see each other, but she never really invited me to do stuff like party and go out with her on weekends. I had relatively few friends. I was having a hard time in classes - particularly feeling a loss of direction regarding my major and what I’m doing with school. Last year I declared a major in journalism and this spring I declared a major in English. But I found myself having a total loss of confidence. I had social anxiety over the smallest of social exchanges. I eventually went to counseling on campus. I clung to the few friends I had and the rare time I got to spend with them. I spent most of my time in my room alone.

A friend of mine (a girl I’ve known for years from high school) contracted for an apartment with me this year. I was actually very excited for it because we both get along pretty well, and I was very happy to have someone to live with. I thought my experience would be much better this year. That my mind would be in a better state and I wouldn’t go crazy because I was alone all the time. Well, she recently contacted me (about 2 weeks ago) and told me that her parents told her something came up and she won’t be attending our school this year. I was really devastated. I didn’t know what to do. I was honestly really fearful of being alone again.

Ever since I’ve been back for the summer, I’ve been in a much better mood. I’ve been happy seeing family and friends, and my girlfriend. I’ve been a more confident person. And I’m worried all that will be diminished once I go back to school.

Since the apartment we contracted for is through school, our school assigned me a random international student roommate already. I’m not even sure if this person speaks English. And I’m absolutely terrified of living with them. The apartment isn’t the closest to campus either, and I’m worried it’s going to be a similar situation to last year. And I don’t want to go down that path again.

I looked into it, and a school that’s 45 minutes away from my home (as opposed to the 5 hour distance my school is) was accepting applications for fall semester up until August 1st. So I applied and sent in my transcripts. My application is still being processed. I’ve done my research and from what I can see, I actually fairly like their programs they offer.

My mom has told me that she’ll support me in whatever I do, but she says I need to make a decision. My dad has told me that he believes I should transfer because he thinks I’ll be miserable by myself this year, and that I’ll regret going back to school. Both my parents know I dealt with some depression this winter/spring. If I do transfer, I’m worried that there will be no classes available that I need. My dad says if that’s the case, I could just only take a few classes or I could take a semester off and return to school in the spring. Explaining to others why I decided to stay home and commute to a nearby school rather than going back to my original school would be hard enough. Explaining to others why I’m taking a semester off of school will be even harder. My dad says not to worry, that plenty of people transfer and plenty take time off. I think the hardest part has been trying to convince myself that it’s okay.

I wanted to go away to school to have an experience. At the end of the day, I made some friends and I had some good experiences, but they weren’t friends I felt I shared as strong of a bond as I wanted to with, and the experience wasn’t overall what I hoped it would be. I would still love to have that experience, but I feel like it’s not really possible at this point, whether I transfer or not.

I’m such an indecisive person, and I hate that about myself. I have 3 weeks until school starts and I have all this going on. My mom wants me to decide whether or not I want to go back to school and go from there. But the thought of possibly not going to school this semester scares me. And i’m in this horrible state of mind where I just don’t know what to do.