Shy but want to be an engineer?

inthegarden
Mon, 12 Dec 2016 06:34:21 +0000

@adrenaline, I have to go to sleep soon, so if I don’t post more tonight, that’s why. But I agree with aunt bea. Even though your shyness gives you some problems (think of problems in this sense as puzzles to work out solutions for, like engineering problems, not like disease problems) the shyness and quietness are ALSO the flip side of personality/character traits that are positive, good and even strong about yourself. That is a very important thing to learn, and key to you finding success. By that, I don’t mean to say you don’t need to work to overcome things that hinder you, but it’s important to honor WHO YOU ARE and work with it.

I really recommend the book Quiet by Susan Cain that @coolweather mentioned and also the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. I think they would help you see your predicament about yourself in a somewhat different context that could be helpful. These books actually stress the normalcy of these personality types and the evolutionary advantage of some members of society having the unique constellation of traits of quietness and sensitivity (even though our current culture doesn’t tend to reward them.) Even though these traits are problematic in term of finding the right “fit” in life and building survival strategies, paradoxically, by accepting them as normal for YOU and setting certain boundaries for yourself, you can develop the confidence to overcome the crippling social anxiety aspects of your personality. By learning more about yourself and honoring yourself I believe you can learn to communicate adequately and eve well in your own style. Thinking of yourself as fundamentally flawed will keep the vicious cycle of anxiety going.

BTW, would you say you are a visual thinker/problem-solver? I was wondering if visual thinking is what is pulling you toward engineering rather than accounting (which would be a practical choice but maybe not as appealing.) Maybe your brain is calling out for the type of stimulation that engineering problems give you…but then you have the issue of working in teams, etc. to deal with…Just wondering.