"Smart slacker"...

jalaeiaxjalaeia
Fri, 31 Mar 2017 00:21:20 +0000

Based on my research, it seems that GPA is significantly more heavily weighted than SAT. If you have a good GPA but a low SAT score, they’ll tell you, “oh it’s okay, it’s just one test.” But if you have a high SAT score and a low gpa, they’ll think you’re a smart slacker.
Personally, I have a 3.55 unweighted GPA, and my class rank is about the top 1/3 of my grade. My course load is also among some of the most rigorous curriculum, being in the IB program, but my grades are certainly lacking. I recently took the SAT and got a 1570, something I’m really excited about.
I’m scared of looking like just a “smart slacker” when in reality, a lot of other factors came to play. I have always struggled with science and math based curriculum throughout my life, and when life became more turbulent for me, it began to show in my grades, specifically at my weakest subjects that would have required the most attention.
I’ve struggled with my religious identity as a result of childhood bullying, and I became even more confused when I began to question my sexuality. My parents, who are deeply religious, responded in an extremely cold manner, and home life became very tense and difficult. The stress of the situation resulted in me developing a few health issues relating to eating (I wouldn’t necessarily say it was an eating disorder, largely to due the lack of an official diagnosis for fear of my friends finding out and thinking I was fucked up, and also because I didn’t lose any weight, I actually gained a lot).
The summer before my sophomore year, I looked at my family’s financial predicament (my sister had began to fail her courses at college, which stripped her of her scholarship and forced her into retaking courses at my parents’ expense), and also because I had a poor relationship with my parents at the time, I really wanted to go out of state. Upon doing research, I realized that my grades were extremely poor, that a B+/A- average was not going to cut it for scholarships or even just acceptance at my ideal schools. Beginning junior year, I threw myself into my schoolwork and SAT, but I came out with the same result-a 3.55 unweighted GPA.
I realized that I hadn’t really changed anything. I studied the same way- after club meetings and practice ended at 3:30pm until the library closed at 9pm, and I was still getting into nightly arguments with my parents and being forced to attend conservative lectures and presentations throughout weekends until the stress made me shove enough candy bars down my throat to make me too sick to move. The only difference was my stress levels, which had increased almost exponentially when my counselor had told me that, statistically, I looked like another “smart slacker”.
Unlike most students, I couldn’t solve the issue of my grades being poor by simply studying more- I had to clear the distractions that were preoccupying my mind. The root of everything, the bad grades, the bad relationship with my parents, the bad swelling in my stomach after eating, and the bad feeling in my chest after seeing a pretty girl, was all from my religious confusion. I felt worthless because I couldn’t understand what was being preached and also why someone like me would ever be deserving of the opportunity to reach the heavens. I opened up to a teacher, and she gave me an unbiased passage and understanding of my own religion. This is where I began again.

My grades aren’t perfect, but I had a sudden increase beginning in my second semester. My GPA was a 4.2, then a 4.8 in my first semester of senior year. I had all As and two Bs in my second semester of junior year and all As since then, which certainly is not perfect but is significantly better than I ever assumed I would receive. I realize how late in the game I am to finally have gotten my grades up, but I don’t think it was for nothing. I’ve become much more stable in defining myself and my relationships, both in positive ways. I’m healthy both mentally and physically, and I think that’s what most important even if it took me much, much longer to get there compared to others.
I suppose there was no point to me writing this on this platform. Ultimately I know that my rough course selection, ECs, or SAT won’t be enough to qualify me for more selective schools due to my low GPA, but I do believe that I can be happy and successful at many different universities.
I guess the question now is- do you think I’m a smart slacker?