So how did we end up with hook up culture?

alh
Tue, 30 Sep 2014 14:55:14 +0000

I agree with those saying hook-up sex/casual sex isn’t new. There was casual sex in the mid 70s at my southern tailgate university and my father (same university 25-30 years earlier) told me there were college women enjoying sexual encounters with men in whom they had no serious long term interests then as well. My mother (also same university) found this a shocking idea and refused to believe it. She was “not that kind of girl”

In my middle class neighborhood, full of professional parents, girls in their early teens were given birth control pills by their pediatricians to regulate their cycles and help their complexions. No one acknowledged the sexual activity because good girls didn’t do that. However, some girls’ moms gave them Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex by David Reuben, during their senior year of high school. We also had MS magazine. And Cosmopolitan. And DH Lawrence in a pinch. During college I lived in a sorority house with women who thought it imperative to have a huge rock on their fingers asap and a wedding the summer after graduation. Anything else denoted failure. This was our culture. For many, the response was a secret rebellion. They wanted more experiences than just one man, but needed to protect their reputations. So they looked for hook-ups among men they wouldn’t normally encounter in social situations and on vacations. A year abroad was a really safe time to experiment.

Our kids generation is more open and less hypocritical. I also think that overall they have fewer partners, just based on what I hear from my kids and their friends. And I do think it has to do with the world changing a bit with HIV/AIDS. I made sure there were safe sex pamphlets from the local university health clinic at our house when my kids hit puberty. They talked about female condoms, dental dams, etc.

ETA: Looking for Mr. Goodbar was published in '75. Fear of Flying in '73. They are “hook-up” books. It is interesting to think if the 80s were a different culture. maybe so.