Soo, here's my essay...comments please:)

anglswings
Sun, 08 Oct 2006 20:57:44 +0000

i agree. Use more description, and more .passion. in your essay.To me it seems a bit boring and i didnt want to finish it. put more of YOU in it by showing that you want to dot hat and thats your passion, instead of saying it outright. Good luck with everything though!