Spring of Self Care

techmom99
Sun, 15 Apr 2018 15:17:40 +0000

I am another who says just let them read what they want to read, as long as it’s appropriate and they are reading.

My middle son barely read till third grade and ultimately became a NM commended student (might have done better if he’d actually studied for the test, but…) with a 760 verbal SAT. He actually began reading when he wanted to see the movie “Holes” and wanted oldest son (4 years older, so 12 to his 8) to take him to the theater instead of me. I made a bargain that if he read the book first and could answer questions about it, they could go. Of note is that he enjoyed the book over the movie. It worked and he is a reader. to this day, primarily sci fi fantasy stuff, but you never know.

A few weeks ago, we paid a shiva call and my two middle sons and two of their friends came with us. They are all early 20’s. We took them out to dinner and the conversation turned to reading. It turned out that in HS, my middle son and one of the other boys decided to read “Paradise Lost” on a whim! They enjoyed it and were reminiscing about it and I had no clue. They are now thinking of joint reading a book and talking about it together, sort of like a book club for Eagle Scouts. So, right now, you are laying the seeds for a future reader and if graphic novels or Captain Underpants (which my guys loved, too) will do it, so be it. S17 got into reading with the Percy Jackson series about a boy who finds out that Poseidon is his father.

Another thing that I would suggest for your son(s) is Boy Scouts. All 4 of my sons were in it for years. H and I only this year gave up running our Venturing crew. Now that scouting is co-ed (my D is SO angry that she missed out on this as she hated Girl Scouts), I think it will be even better. My oldest son, who is Aspie, has friends from scouting to this day. My middle boys’ core group of friends is comprised of boys they know from scouting. 6 of them are away this weekend at a Magic The Gathering tournament (as opposed to hocus pocus magic). I think scouting is very open to the kid who is out of the box, at least in my experience. All of mine are, even though only the oldest has the Aspie dx. A good scouting troop encourages independence, resourcefulness and respect for others. At our events, the boys set up, served and cleaned, they ate last after their guests. They cleaned their camp sites and participated in social causes. I don’t know if it fits your lifestyle, but it’s a great activity for non sports kids. As the kids got older, they would do things like attend each other’s school plays, concerts and recitals, without being forced. The level of support within my sons’ core group is amazing. The core group, as I refer to it, now ranges in age from 18 (S17’s friend, he himself just turned 19) through the unofficial leader of the group, who is 28 and was a counselor at the sleep away camp when the younger boys attended. There are few groups where boys of such diverse ages can interact, socialize and have legitimate friendships based on shared interests. One of the few parenting decisions I never second guess is scouting. I will also say that I made SO many mom friends through scouting as well.