Sr. Parents: Question about ED

cangel
Fri, 22 Apr 2005 09:33:30 +0000

Carolyn, I think the ED decision is equal parts strategy and psychology/personality of your child. See if any of my daughter’s characteristics ring a bell. She is opinionated (almost stubborn) and decisive, but still not completely grown up and full formed. She thinks many things important to high schoolers are stupid. Soph year was rough socially and emotionally because her group of girlfriends all moved away out of state, it was too late to join another group, and most of her friends and classmates are boys. Jr was tough because of all the APs and testing. By the end of junior year, she was ready to go to college.

Early on it was apparent that she was interested in schools where ED might offer an advantage. It was also clear to her that she had no great favorite, she could rank them, but even her “safety” school had aspects that were quite appealing. She had a vision in her head of what college would be like, and list of more objective criteria - size, location, program - as well, and ranked the schools accordingly.

She said something very telling to me, around last Nov - “It won’t be any easier to decide if I get into all of them in the spring, because still there will be things I like and dislike about them - and I really don’t know what it (a particular school) will be like until I get there!”

She applied ED, was accepted. The last 2 weeks leading up to decisions were painful with anxiety. There was a little recognition, she and 2 other students were accepted ED out of only 4-5 who applied ED, their acceptances were published in the parents’ newsletter, and she met with the Headmaster (an Ivy attendance is a rare event at her school, probably half of those accepted, don’t actually go).

She had about 5 minutes of regret - “yeah, it would be kind of fun to know where else, aahhh, no, forget that.” But she has also had months of relief, and a much happier senior year.

Spring acceptances went by without a whisper, but we were gone on spring break when the word actually came out, and by that time 90% of her class knew where they were going, although most of the remaining 10%are some of her closer friends.

My answer is it depends. Only you know how you feel, and you know her best. Even if you strongly feel she is selling herself short, or will have too many regrets, particularly if second guessing is a trait of hers, you can only suggest she still has to make this decision for herself.

You are one of the wisest, strongest, best informed parents here, she will make a good decision.