Prepare for a big crowd if you go! I’ll be listening from the relative calm of my room.
Don’t chase people or feel like you have to walk around in a group. Trust me, it will just degrade your self confidence over time because you will be consistently disappointed. I’m a junior and have only made a couple friends in college and now they have become simply acquaintances.
Those people who think that social popularity and social “fun” is important are usually the people who party heavily and therefore aren’t doing college the right way. They might be popular now but this is their prime. When they leave college and enter the real world, they’re going to be hit hard.
Everyone wants to have friends and have fun when they first start college, but most of that is social pressure because we are indoctrinated to believe that partying and having a big social life is what makes people successful. But it’s not. And the quicker you accept this, the more you can focus on doing YOU and focusing on your career path and what you want to contribute to the world in your life.
You will make the right friends over time through your academic work. It’s hard to see that, and even I get depressed as a junior (because I have literally next to no friends), but it’s true…just stay focused on your work and things will align in a way that you’ll be happy with over time.
@bodangles how long did it take you to make friends? I feel like I made friends with my roommate and someone from one of my clubs (the night of block party my club had a meeting so I decided to go there instead and ended up having a good time). I guess I kind of over reacted since it was only the first week.
Forever. Like, entire semesters.
If you make one or two in the first couple of weeks then that’s a success in my book!
My students were very different – interested in different things, one much more outgoing and easygoing. One joined lots of things, one did not. Neither one made lots of friends the first semester and I think that’s true of most people. But both of them had a nice small group of devoted friends by the time they were graduating. Keep yourself busy, don’t confuse partying with making friends, and it will happen. Your interests will draw you together with other people. Adults find it hard to mainstain friendships, and it doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong or are somehow flawed.
@Ajpat123 How did it go Friday? As far as clubs go I hear that a good club is ATLAS. I know nothing about it but other parents highly recommended it based upon their student’s experience. Also, the first football game is this weekend and while you may or may not be into football, it is a good time to be out and about on campus. Good Luck.
@JJHS2014 what do they do? and how do you join?
It’s a club that is very involved with THON but the members don’t have to be part of the Greek Life at PSU.
At college, the counseling center is way more comprehensive than in a high school. Go talk to someone, they probably have a whole list of groups, clubs, student leaders, places to hang out, etc’, that can help you. They can also give you help on social strategies, and managing your feelings as you improve your situation. Highly recommend. Just remember, your college’s teachers aren’t just in the classroom, they are also in all those buildings and offices, that most freshmen barely notice.
@bodangles btw is walking alone on pollock road at like 12 am a bad idea? I have a club meeting thing, and its going to last a while, I may have to walk home from willard building (which is on pollock road a past the hub). My RA warned me to stay away from the area and emphasized particularly for today.
Be alert and don’t have headphones in or anything, but I’ve never felt unsafe on that road. The part going past the HUB is quite central and pretty well-lit. And plenty of people will be out and about on a Saturday night.
@bodangles @JJHS2014 @Nutella544 It still kind off sucks, I
ve made acquaintances and semi-friends, (I dont really expect to make close friends right away), right now Im trying to figure out what to do on weekends because I hate being in my room all day. Ive gone to soccer games and club meetings, didn’t really make friends at the soccer game but made a few acquaintances at my club. I guess things will get better as the semester goes on, its only been 3 weeks, Im doing a lot better than the first week.
Can you go to the IM building and run on a treadmill? or work out? over time you might become a “regular” and part of that community. Have you tried HUB late night? Is there somewhere you can volunteer? Have you gone to the Wesley Center (faith based) or Pasquerilla to see if there’s something interesting? Go to the public library and read the paper? (Schlow is up on Beaver)
Go walk around – even if you aren’t meeting people, being outside and getting exercise is good for your mental health!
The social groups that the counseling center run for typical kids are almost like “clubs”. You may find a group of kids just like you. In the meantime, connect with your friends or family from home. Maybe someone would love to visit and spend a weekend with you and together you can go out and meet more kids from your school. Good luck!
I am sorry this is so hard, but making friends is sort of a process that does take time.
As @greenbutton mentioned, now that it is not so hot out, walk around outside breathe in the cool(er) air. PSU in the fall is beautiful. Good luck.
@greenbutton can I still join those service groups?
I looked at that website and they dont really have much information about the organizations or how to volunteer.
Of course you can. Nobody is going to turn down volunteers for service work. Okay, Homecoming and Thon can be hard to find an entrance, I’ll give you that.
The website has links to the group pages, and the organizations list varying amounts of the information. The student United Way page, for example, has a “volunteer now” link that tells you where and when the meetings are, and what they are working on. So click through the hyperlinks, and go to a few meetings. Yes, it is hard, but you can’t keep creating obstacles. Yes, it’s intimidating, but everyone else is intimidated too – you have to get yourself out there. Success is something we create, not something we find sitting there, waiting for us. You can do this!
Have you gone to the football games? All the students sit in the student section and my D says its so much fun.
@greenbutton Im fine with going to meetings I have no problems with, I just couldn’t find info about the organizations when I clicked the link.