The boyfriend back home

garland
Tue, 15 Sep 2015 21:44:19 +0000

I’m with mom2 on this. It’s nice to have an open relationship with one’s child and hear about relationships from them, but I don’t see how it’s an automatic expectation. She might not be “sneaking around” but trying to establish autonomy. even if we don’t think that’s the way to go about adulthood, I see it as her choice.

I also want to comment on Zoos’s comment that if she’s keeping it quiet, that should be a sign to her that there’s something wrong with the situation.

I’m not saying it’s true in the OP’s family, and certainly not in Zoos’s, but there are a lot of young adults who choose for good reason not to tell things in their lives to their parents. In many cases, it doesn’t reflect at all on whether the situation is wrong, but rather on the expected judgment(alism) of the parents. In those cases, keeping something quiet might be a kind of self-preservation.

Again–I’m not implying this is true in this case, just to counter the idea that this admonition is always true.