The Uneven Student

calmom
Fri, 18 Feb 2011 16:59:42 +0000

. She’s a head-in-the-clouds kind of kid. Though obviously very bright, she doesn’t really engage with day-to-day issues … Does best in smaller classes; her math teachers say she’s a creative thinker … Not sure where to begin in terms of putting together a college list. Does she have a chance at places like Barnard (her first choice as of now–we live near NY and she loves the campus)?



As the parent of a recent Barnard grad, from what you say, I don’t think that Barnard is a good fit.

In the first place, the reading load and writing expectations are intense.

Secondly, even though Barnard is a LAC with many small classes, it also has many larger lecture-type courses, and most students end up taking a significant part of their coursework at Columbia, which also has larger courses.

Finally, Barnard is a community of extremely engaged, self-directed, and highly focused young women. I think that a person really needs a certain level of urban tough to be happy there – the “campus” that your d. loves is the size of a postage stamp and most socializing takes places off campus. It’s possible that Barnard is just the place for your d. to be challenged and to come down from her cloud, but the point is that it is an environment that challenges more than it nurtures.

I’m not saying that she shouldn’t apply. One thing I learned with my son is that kids change, and a kid who seems like a dreamer in high school can rediscover and reinvent themselves in the college years or later. Sometimes it’s partly an issue of maturity, and kids do grow up.

But my point is that Barnard should be one of a number of colleges you are looking at.

My inclination – based on some hindsight parenting - is that with a kid like your daughter I’d look for a school that was a good fit academically, meaning one where your d. could explore her interests in philosophy without being overwhelmed by scholarship expectations she’s not ready to meet.

P.S. I didn’t realize when I first posted that your d. was still a sophomore. A LOT can change between sophomore and senior year – so your d. may be a very different person by the time she gets around to sending in college apps. So Barnard may end up being a great fit for the person she ends up being at age 18. So keep it on the list… just keep in mind that it is not a warm, fuzzy, hand-holding type environment.