The Waitlist, and my attempt

Debaser
Mon, 08 May 2006 17:49:50 +0000

In an attempt to be admitted from the wait list, I’ve e-mailed letters to the admissions staff. Though I may write additional letters, it’s starting to become the moment of truth, and I would appreciate any of your thoughts on what I’ve currently sent:

Letter #1

I moved to Chicago for my first love. We separated the day before,
and I couldn’t help but laugh at the tendency of unfortunate events to
strike in unison. I thought about her as I walked along the shore,
where the evening fog flattened the horizon and smudged the lake and
sky. I had sand in my shoes and a thin envelope in my hand.

I dislike both wait-lists and sandy shoes, but given the
circumstances, being presented with both was nearly unbearable. I’m
writing this because I’ve worked too hard for this opportunity to be
swept under a wait-list with a canned “maybe” letter. This is about
realizing my future. This is my dream—the reason I elect to spend
four hours a day in public transit—to read and to write and to think.
I’m 24, I’ve done my research, and Chicago’s rigor is second to none.
Give me the opportunity to match it.

“What a load of well-written prose,” you might say. And I’d probably
agree. You may think me stubborn—but frankly, you’ve stirred the
hornets’ nest of my ambition, and you’re going to hear about it until
I receive a phone call confirming my acceptance. My course catalog is
dog-eared. I’ll be damned if it’s going to read fiction.

Letter #2

I said you’d hear from me again, and this won’t be the last time.

I was warned about sending this letter, and that I would be
blacklisted. I savored the irony of that statement for a moment (read
on), and decided to send it anyway. If I molded my interests in order
to appear a more appealing candidate, I’d be just another tool like
this guy:

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showpost.php?p=2172455&postcount=1



“You gotta challenge all assumptions. If you don’t, what is doctrine
on day one becomes dogma forever after.”

–John Boyd

Boyd was a warrior and a genius–traits seldom paired. He poked
generals in the chest while making his points, dusting them with cigar
ash as he flailed his arms wildly. He was abrasive, loud, and vulgar.
His name carried a stigma seldom matched in Pentagon history–an
assocation with the “Mad Major” could stifle or end careers. But
those that “got it,” the Acolytes, didn’t care because they valued
integrity over bureaucracy, ideas over careerism. They knew he was on
to something. They knew he would send shockwaves through the
Pentagon.

Similarly, Tucker Max is on the precipice of something great,
something I want to be a part of. He is, in his words, “tearing down
the Berlin Wall of content delivery.” And he is not alone. Recently,
Maddox had the #1 top selling book on Amazon (still holding in the top
5), and it hasn’t even been released. When it has, it will easily
become the #1 New York Times best-seller, WITH NO PRESS, effectively
knocking the mainstream media on its ass. Because of this precedent,
artists of any medium no longer have to water down their content to
win publisher, producer, or network approval. Hollywood may actually
have to take a risk or two, rather than regurgitate tiring ********
(anyone that would disagree is easily refuted with three words:
Basic. Instinct. Two.) Acting, in a sense, as an orchestrator, Max
has fueled the movement by creating a hub for these artists. Content
will prevail over formulae.

In trying to subvert the orthodoxy, Max is not unlike Boyd. And like
Boyd, he has his enemies, though it surprised me how many were U of C
alumni. After I mentioned his name, the tone of my campus interview
changed markedly. Apparently, he was disliked by many. After the
interview, I joked to myself that, like Boyd, the mere mention of
Tucker Max effectively destroyed my chances for admission. Unlikely,
but amusing (after all, I am on the waitlist). Regardless, my opinion
(other than finding his stories hilarious), is that whether you
endorse his actions or not, he is living true to himself, and
sanctimony and pretense have no place amongst the truly intelligent.

What a remarkable time to pursue one’s dreams. The internet is a
perpetual motion machine; it continues to impact our lives in
staggering ways and yet its potential remains limitless. America has
always believed one’s success to be limited solely by his or her
ambition. By the day, this seems less and less idealistic.

Letter #3

Ought Versus Is

Recently I’ve been reading texts on Evolutionary Psychology, and while
the evidence is fascinating (and plentiful), I’ve become equally
fascinated with opponents of the field. Not fascinated with their
arguments, mind you, which are usually little more than unsupported
idealism, but the inherent self-denial of idealism itself, and the
human preoccupation with what ought to be rather than what is. This
crude, simplistic, utterly incorrect thinking seems to pervade the
arenas of politics, sociology, economics, and Starbucks. Rather than
careful, empirical inquiry, these coffee-house thinkers instead choose
to grossly oversimplify serious issues. They disservice experts in
such fields (as well as those within earshot) with their idealistic,
even disingenuous rants on capitalism (between sips of their latte, of
course), sweat shops (they have Nikes on), and social concern (though
their latte cost the same as a mosquito net that would’ve saved a
child from malaria).

For now, I’ll ignore the cadre of idiots that claim 9/11 was a
government plot, the proponents of Intelligent Design, and anyone who
begins an essay with “Webster defines.”

I also feel I should distinguish between “ought versus is” in a
literal sense (“that child ought to be fed”) and a fundamental sense
(“people of the world ought to care less about their own welfare and
more about the hungry children”). The latter is what I’ve focused on.
The former can be addressed by those actually working to exact
change, the ones who are making a difference–not just blogging about
it on Myspace. Of course, there are many avenues in which one can
make a difference, and while I don’t know precisely which is for me, I
do have ideas, and the U of C would be instrumental in their pursuit.

Letter #4 (addressed to my Admissions Counselor, Jerry Doyle)

Hello Jerry,

I’ve been informed recently that students are beginning to be moved
from the wait list into acceptance or rejection. Since I’m not a high
school senior and know no alumni, I’ve chosen writing as the avenue in
which to display my merits. As you know, I’ve written commentary to
you and the admissions staff conveying my sense of insight (or lack
thereof). This has been an effort to show what I will offer as a
student, as well as relate my unique perspective as an older
applicant.

I can’t imagine a better fit for me than the U of C, and frankly, I’m
on the edge of my seat. Would you speak to me plainly of my chances
for admission?

-So that’s all for now. Anyone on the forum rooting for me? I have yet to receive a single response to one of my letters, which is discouraging, to say the least.