the WORST poem ever.

princessbell
Mon, 22 Sep 2008 22:47:46 +0000

my dearest wesleyan.

i am writing to you expressing my deepest regrets.
that i cannot attend your soiree.

i know that there will be cute hipsters there
and tofu and eggless souffle.

your viewbook was delightful
color-rich and insightful.

for one night and one day i visisted you.
and tears came to my eyes as i bid you adieu.

you birthed such great leaders with each passing day
indie star santogold and director michael bay

your tour guide sir carmen
was the hottest guide i’ve ever seen

i thought that i was smitten before
but after that info session, i knew it was only you i could adore

eff brown i thought
rhode island is naught
compared to a jewel like you.

for who would choose mere stones over pearls
hermaphrodites over true girls
neutrogena before creme la mer
synthetic weave in lieu of human hair?

but alas, my dream is gone.
you and i wesleyan, will make no spawn

although you remain my one love true
i must say goodbye to you

you will give me no aid.
neither merit nor need.

my parents will not pay your fare.
because the prestige just isn’t there.

it’s not you, it’s me.
it’s not me, it’s my dad.
his pockets are too deep
and you are just too cheap.

but i sort of understand.
you need kids from other lands.

i’m just a middle class loser.
who can’t think of a word that rhymes with loser.

you only want the poor.
and the rich, nothing more.

i don’t blame you wes my dear.
to my heart you will always remain near.

have fun without me.
and please never doubt me.

if i were to even apply
and get it, i’d poke out my eye

and who wants to be eyeless at 17?

if i end up across the sea
at that school that borders risd.

you’ll know why - it’s not because of the prestige
it’s because you just won’t bestow the aid i need.

love
princessbell