Thinking about transferring out of Cornell

monydad
Sat, 16 Dec 2017 19:01:28 +0000

I’m no foe of transferring if things are not working out. My D2 did it, and it worked out great for her.
But in her case, she transferred to Cornell. Where she had a great social life while still working hard, did lots of (non-vocational) extracurriculars as well as part-time jobs, did not find it “socially isolating”, and basically loved it there. She went to Collegetown parties quite often, and also threw them with her friends, so I don’t know where you are coming from there.

In your case, I think I know what you need, but I can’t help you get it.

The good news is that If you stay, the perception of Greek omnipresence will die down for you. As an upperclassman the frats will likely not be a material part of your life at all anymore. They will not be recruiting you anymore, and the people from your dorm who went to them will just be there, as if they vanished.

The frats provide their members with a built-in set of social activities, and a built-in group of people to do them with. If you’re into it, and you fit, they can be great. It makes social life easy. Everyone else (ie the majority of people) has to make their own social life. There is stuff to do, but you have to take initiative to find it, and get people to do it with. That’s harder than having it all done for you. But that’s also more like real life, after college, for everyone. If you can figure this out now, it will help you later on.

If you don’t gain these skills, you might not have a better time socially at the place you transfer to. So IMO you should work on this in any event. maybe with the help of a counselor.

The bad news is, junior year will likely also be quite challenging academically . It might be more interesting to you, since you start properly on your major, but it will still probably be tough. Senior year it may get somewhat easier, surprisingly. At least that’s how I found it, years ago.

Wherever you go, you have to maintain a social life, including extracurricular activities, maybe part-time jobs, and just fun. I didn’t do that, but I should have. My study habits were horrible. I wasted all sorts of time that would have been better spent on having a life. You need to have a social life too. You should make this a priority starting next semester. No matter if you are staying or going.

If at the end of the day you really can’t balance things without going nuts, then maybe you do need an easier school.
There’s nothing wrong with that. But be careful about transferring to a place that’s just as hard.

Transferring is sort of a do-over socially, so maybe that could be good for you. but it’s hard at first to befriend the people who started as freshman, because they already have established their social network. Consequently a lot of your network will likely be drawn form fellow transfers. So a school that has a sizable transfer cohort might be good for you. But you still need the social skills to succeed socially, anyplace. Otherwise you might have virtually the same experience but just at a different school.

When my D2 transferred, she knew she was transferring into a better situation for her.
You need that too. Else you run the risk of finding yourself in virtually the same circumstances someplace else.