This has nothing to do with Harvard - "Claus in Crisis"

smoda61
Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:39:03 +0000

I thought that others might enjoy this as I did.

From the insert in today’s Boston Globe:

Claus in crisis
You think you’ve got problems? Santa has a sleighful.
By Bella English | December 7, 2009
I grew up in simpler times, when Santa just hitched up the reindeer, threw the sack in the sleigh, and hopped on, delivering gifts all over the place. But the world has gotten much more complex.

Just the other day, the American Medical Association released a study showing Santa’s body mass index to be “dangerously high’’ at 30 percent, which makes him obese, which puts him at high risk for a heart attack, which means he should not be flying at high altitudes.

Not only that, but Lou Dobbs on his radio show recently suggested that Santa, because he lives in the North Pole, is not a US citizen and therefore should not be allowed to fly over our country, much less land on rooftops. He’s asked the Immigration and Naturalization Service to look into the matter.

OSHA is said to be studying Santa’s sleigh. “Flying in an open sleigh could be hazardous,’’ an agency spokesman said. “We’ve had reports of packages falling out and hitting people. A fruitcake alone could do major damage to our infrastructure.’’

Last year, the FAA got reports that Santa was flying erratically. According to one source, Santa denied that he was texting but admitted that he was consulting his GPS to determine where, exactly, Possum Kingdom, S.C., was.

This just in: At the opening of the Copenhagen climate talks yesterday, a special session was called to discuss a newly discovered greenhouse gas. “It seems that reindeer droppings from the long flight give off methane, adding to the monumental climate gas problem,’’ said one noted scientist. A committee is studying whether to charge Santa a new carbon emissions tax, which will, of course, be passed along to consumers…"

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