Thoughts on my college app essay?

OnMyWay2013
Sun, 21 Jun 2015 14:40:11 +0000

1. Does it answer the prompt well? **You're writing about an interest that is meaningful to you, so yes, it answers the prompt.**

2. Is writing about my academic improvement redundant? **Not necessarily. I think you're giving context to the situation by explaining why you were getting bad grades and why you suddenly worked so hard to improve them.**

3. Does it sound genuine? **Yes, as long as you don't hint that you think it sounds dumb and that you think that *they* think it sounds dumb too. Be confident about what you write. Done the right way, your explanation could be very plausible. Also, you want to sound genuine but not overly idealistic. Saying you want to build "the best race car ever" is a high aspiration. Break it down into smaller steps. In what ways do you want to improve current race car designs?**

4. Does it make sense? **Yes.**

5. Are you convinced that I'm willing to continue working hard? **I mean, you sound pretty passionate even just talking about what you're writing. I think an admissions officer would have to look at your grades next to this to feel confident that you can actually deliver on the claims you make.**

6. Finally, if you were an admissions officer would you want me as part of the student body? **Depends on the school, your grades, and your extracurriculars. It would come down to how sure I was that you were serious about this goal. And, keep in mind, everyone who applies to college has a dream or passion, and engineering majors will often write about the joys of designing and building. If you're applying to schools with many engineering majors, you might want to write about something else that will make you stand out.**