Thursday Nights: A Sleepless Rant In 3 Parts

<p>Dear Every Single Person In Every Single Building Anywhere Remotely Near Mine,</p>

<p>I'm glad that you are all so stoked about it being 3rd week and not having midterms yet and what effing ever. But seriously. Some of us have actual responsibilities outside of reaching one's limit for alcohol consumption and the accompanying sluttitude. Responsibilities which may or may not require us to be able to function on a Friday morning. Like, um, gosh. I don't know. OH YEAH. Work! With desks and computers and bosses who are way too far removed from living in college neighborhoods to sympathize when I come in lacking sleep all Night of the Living Dead style BECAUSE OF YOU. </p>

<p>While the persistant suggestions to, "Chug! Chug! OOOOOOOH!" are absolutely charming, they won't help me get my ass out of bed in 6 hours. </p>

<p>Shut up. </p>

<p>Dear New Neighbors In The Building Next Door, </p>

<p>I hate you. Don't leave every single window open if you insist on having loud, obnoxious people over EVERY NIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS. I'm glad you're so stupidly popular, but seriously. </p>

<p>Oh, and I'm glad it's your birthday or something. Actually I don't. But whatever. I could tolerate it though if your stupid friends werent screaming and cursing and shaking things. And yelling the birthday song over and over and over. And over. I think that when it's my birthday I will forbid people from singing in celebration because I CANNOT HANDLE IT ANYMORE SERIOUSLY OMG STOP.</p>

<p>Shut up. </p>

<p>Dear New Neighbors Upstairs, </p>

<p>I'm glad that you don't blatantly and selfishly ignore all of the parking rules like the last chick who was in there, but seriously. The bass? Lame. So is the pacing and the clomp clomp clomp directly above my head. Oh and the copious amounts of smoke that I can smell all the way down here. I am going to die. And I promise to take you with me. </p>

<p>Shut up. </p>

<p>/siiiigh.</p>

<p>awww, sorry for all the crazy partiers around you. :(</p>

<p>they should have more sound proofing in apartments and dorms.</p>

<p>have you tried playing some sad/soothing music to lull you to sleep? or nyquil?</p>

<p>My neighbors upstairs are in a frat. Nuff said. Let's just say I've gotten used to all the strange people entering our building... every night. Is it really necessary to invite all your frat buddies and sorority sluts every Monday and Tuesday night? I wouldn't really mind so much if the outside of our complex didn't smell like Natty Light (why do frat boys always drink crappy beer?) and they didn't occasionally empty their beer bong onto our patio. At least our apartment only directly touches one other (the one right above). It doesn't really bother me that much, but I just wonder where these people find time to party on Tuesdays and Wednesdays every week.</p>

<p>LOL VTE I seriously doubt i'd even be able to hear any music I attempted to play over this noise. It's seriously overwhelming. And unfortunately I don't have any sleep aids, but I couldn't take them anyways because I really do have to be up early. </p>

<p>And yeah. Fortunately I'm away from the actual frat houses, but I definitely think some of the people behind our building are frat kids. And they're seriously annoying. Well, they all are. Especially these new people. The other people who lived next door were soooooo quiet and the new people suck. When they DON'T have people over at night every night, their phone rings constantly during the day. I truly, truly hate them. Now theyre doing Arnold impressions. </p>

<p>I want to cry. But angry, hateful tears.</p>

<p>Haha.
I love your rants, allie.</p>

<p>"Now they're doing Arnold impressions."</p>

<p>LOL. Tell them to "****" in your best Arnold impression.</p>

<p>Oh, by the way, that was me who added you on Facebook. :D</p>

<p>My neighbors include eccentric old ladies with grandma perfume, but my next door neighbors are UCLA students too, but the only noise that they make is when they have their video game nights. Upstairs though, is a different story. This dude stomps around at all hours of the night wearing clogs (at least htat's what it sounds like) from the kitchen to right over my bed, likes to re-arrange furniture at 3AM, and slide the sliding glass door to the patio open and shut also at all hours. When the noise would get excessive, I would bang the broom handle on the ceiling, but this somehow encouraged him and brought him under the impression we were creating some sort of musical arrangement. However, I did not appreciate someone opening the dryer door last night right after I put in 6 quarters until it ran out, leaving my clothes sopping wet, and I had to waste another 6 quarters and spend 45 minutes in the laundry room guarding my clothes. Not cool. Allie, where do you live?</p>

<p>Hey at least you don't live next to women's rugby lesbians. Now that's a lot more scary that drunk frat boys. Especially when you walk into the laundry room and these beefy girls are making out (Why?!?! You live across the hall!). That's not what the streets is feelin.</p>

<p>Kelton. Otherwise referred to as the tenth circle of Hell. The one for the loud, unruly, and irritating.</p>

<p>lol mcgizzle. I'll see your amorous lesbians and raise you the phone people AND the creepy dude who repeatedly knocks on the door to give us his business cards and who sat there and stared at my roommate for several awkward minutes without saying anything, only to sit outside and run to our door every time he sees her come home from that point forward.</p>

<p>Rugby lesbians...I didn't know they existed. Hell, I didn't know there was a women's rugby team at UCLA. I guess if there's a kayaking polo team, a women's rugby team isn't out of the question.</p>

<p>If there's a women's rugby team, there are DEFINITELY rugby lesbians. Without a doubt.</p>

<p>Now that I think of it, there are some pretty shady characters around my apartment building, living on Wilshire and all. I came home today and found a shifty-looking man leaning against the hallway and staring at an apartment door down the hall. And, last night a middle-aged man followed my roommate into the building, into the elevator, and off the elevator, and just stood in the lobby of our floor. She got really creeped out and ran to the apartment and locked the door, and looked out the peephole and saw him walk by. We need a doorman. And valet parking. For my bicycle.</p>

<p>I have no doubt your living situation is worse than mine Allie, I don't really mind mine at all. So tit for tat, you'll definitely win.</p>

<p>I'm not completely sure if she's a rugby lesbian (I think she might be, if not definitely bodybuilder), but this one girl at the gym completely scares me. Her arms are bigger than mine, her thighs are like Maurice Drew's, and her neck and shoulders could probably shrug off a linebacker. Yesterday she asked if she could use the neck pad after I finished my squats and I was like "take it"... please don't hurt me. I looked over and she was squatting more than me! And I lift regularly, I was doing like 175 the other day and she was pushing way more than that. I'm pretty sure she can beat me up, I figure I run faster than her but if she ever gets her hands on me it's over.</p>

<p>^</p>

<p>Just don't get her ****ed off.</p>

<p>allie love the bitter rants...hyou should go beat them up</p>

<p>and even though i decry the antisocialness of my dorm at least its very quiet. well, except for certain roommate things but its not as bad as your situation by any means.</p>