Too attached, and too young!?

Jacobtess
Fri, 30 Jul 2010 04:57:38 +0000

I’ve always had trouble seeing relationships and how so many marriages and bonds are fake, and so I always pursued the logical option of waiting, seeing as I’m only 15. This summer, I was on a program in Israel with people from New York (with me), France, and Israel, working together as counselors for half the day, and touring the land and spending time the other half. Upon meeting one particular French girl, I became very close, and the two of us became quite linked over the course of 2 and a half weeks. Albeit we’re both quite young, I realized that this is the most ideal relationship. She’s moderately pretty, but her personality is so unique, and leaving her yesterday has taken a toll I couldn’t fathom previous to the leave. I know I’m young, and it’s quite awkward to say this, but looking around me, I feel like this is the person I want to spend my life with. Naturally, everyone would assume I’m merely in love, but I am. And when I look around, every girl I see, even the stunning ones, are in black-and-white. They’re all 2-D, superficial to me. I don’t know what to do. To be honest, it seems like all the odds are against us. We’re both remaining in Israel this month, so we might meet up, but our families are in two seperate places and each has their own agenda. I can’t explain the feeling I have, but it’s like an empty pit, or void, that just pulls me and tears me. I’ve had about 3 or 4 girlfriends before, and I understand how love works; this is certainly not heartbreak, or heartache. It is not a desire, since I’m not merely sexually attracted to her. Help, please! I don’t know what to do, and have nobody to talk to! I just cry, and I’m generally a tough, logical person. I can’t hold it back, and she’s perpetually in my mind. I usually worry about my future often, and plan things, and integrating her into my future is a very pragmatic goal, but it seems like it will inevitable fail. I don’t want to end up being with someone who’s not like that. And she really is the one. I just love her soul, and her, not even her body or anything sexual. I can’t explain the feeling! Seeing a beautiful girl in a bikini disgusts me further. I just …