Trouble Finding a Steady Academic Path (Major related)

BuggerNutSquish
Wed, 03 Apr 2019 01:57:30 +0000

Hello everyone!

[ Sorry, this is a long read. ]

I am a sophomore majoring in computer science at UCDavis, and I would appreciate some assistance with my current predicament. I’m wondering if it would be a good idea to change majors. Don’t get me wrong, I love my major! I love to code, solve problems with code, and learn about the theoretical concepts. The professors have done a decent job teaching. However, I do not perform well when it comes to class. I acknowledge I am a slow learner, so I’ve been taking extra steps to combat this fault. I go to office hours, discussions, and seek out supplementary explanations/lessons online if I want to explore the material in depth. It does not help that there is a lot of material distributed in a condensed quarter. Everything checks out…until exam day comes. I blank out during written exams, and I tend to do poorly on them. (Programming midterms and finals are doable). The only thing keeping me afloat was the fact that I did extremely well on assignments. This has caused my major gpa to enter a troubled state. It’s dipped to 1.9 which does not allow me to major or minor in cs. I’m afraid this will continue and I will be forced to resign. I’ve expressed these concerns to my family, but they either get uncomfortable or claimed that I just need to try harder. My advisor agreed with the latter or advised that I may need to change majors. I’ve thought about taking computer science as a minor, but I want to get out as much as I can from the program (and the gpa issue). I wouldn’t mind doing away with cs altogether because I would happily learn on my free time. I already work on personal projects out of school. However, I would prefer a formal education and I was told it would not benefit me much as a minor.

Ironically, I maintain A’s in every other subject I take. I am also more socially proactive with both the instructors and students. I especially enjoyed the courses relating to culture, art history, and design. I’ve been recommended by TA’s to look into humanities/arts, but I cannot let go of my love for computer science no matter how poorly I am performing.

It would be a major disappointment to my family if I did switch over to something else. I’ve already dropped the honors program because of stress and my deteriorating health, and doing any further damage would make them question my dedication to my education. They did not expect me to slip up this much since I graduated top of my class and I will be the first to graduate. I can already feel the disappointment seeping out of their passive aggressive and sometimes hurtful comments

I have been an extremely anxious person ever since I was young due to a traumatic childhood, so I’m not the best person when it comes to communication. Authoritative figures frighten me and I tear up for almost no reason. The STEM staff and students make me really anxious for some reason. I find it difficult to socialize with my classmates and professors. I imagine it would be a difficult to find research opportunities or internships. I really do try during office hours and discussions though. On the other hand, I feel comfortable and assertive in humanities and arts.

Long story short.

I’m studying what I love the most, but I have never felt more depressed.

I like really comp sci, but I don’t enjoy how it is taught (again, not really the prof’s fault).

Can’t major in anything else unless their is certain financial stability

The family wants me to be happy AND successful.

My ultimate goal is to have a technological + creative + artistic career such as a game designer, conceptual designer, or web developer to name a few. Although I’m not even sure at this point.

Where do I go from here? Any career recommendations?
Any thoughts are appreciated, and feel free to ask questions!
Do not worry, I plan on talking to an advisor and my family again after I acquire some input.

Thank you for reading.