UC Personal Statement Critique Wanted

lolzorzamos
Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:30:16 +0000

Don’t listen to lamelcriada.

I’m applying to some UCs too; your essay isn’t bad, it just needs work. For one, I would cut out quite a bit of the first half, given that the fact that you’re at a new school really has little to do with the point of your essay. I think you’re answering UC prompt #2, so I’d focus more on the last paragraph, which is the only point at which you even discuss why that experience was important. Expand on that paragraph.