UC Personal Statement Critique Wanted

CHD2013
Wed, 06 Nov 2013 10:17:01 +0000

I think you come across as superior and confrontational. There were other ways to handle the situation which could have resulted in new friends for you and Kat. Even if you disagree and think your actions were brave, there are more interesting situations to display that.

How did you “delight in hearing the experiences of others” and “hear and understand someone else’s experience” with the bullies?

While Kat may have been happy to have you as her protector (or not), your approach wouldn’t often lead to improved harmony at the school and thereby make you someone the reader would seek out.