UC Personal Statement Critique Wanted

lamelcriada
Mon, 11 Nov 2013 00:50:03 +0000

I really dont think you have a chance to get into a UC with a personal statement like this. First , it does NOT answer any of the prompts that have been given for freshman nor transfer students, so i dont know how you will be able to submit that to a UC.
the whole thing sounds like a 15 y.o girl writting about herself in a journal, and Im really not trying to be harsh since I am writting my UC P.S too and understand how hard it is to convey ideas eloquently in 500 words but this is very badly written and the story is extremely pointless, You even had dialogue in there! huge no for a PS.
Good luck but i think that for a UC you need to have way better writting skills than that