UC transfer personal statement - post, critiques, advice, etc.

music1990
Sat, 31 May 2014 12:12:49 +0000

You seem like a good writer, but you need to talk about yourself more. This is a fine story and everything, but I still don’t know much about you from reading this. It also seems a little bit corny, and like you’re trying to make yourself out to be the most gracious, perfect person ever. Also, I think the admissions officers have heard the “privileged kid visits poor country because he cares so much” story enough. That’s just my opinion though. Good luck.