UCSD and CalTech Football: Two Storied Programs

CWalker
Sat, 28 Jun 2008 02:21:40 +0000

As an undergrad at UCSD I saw some t-shirts that said something along the lines of “UCSD Football: Still Undefeated” in reference to UCSD never having a football team…but they did…for one year. And who did they lose to that year? CalTech!

THE VERY WORST IN SPORTS

FOOTBALL

Worst College Team (all-time): For sustained ineptitude, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to underrate the Beavers of the California Institute of Technology. From 1893, when Caltech lost its first game 60–4 (a sign of things to come) through 1977, the Beavers won 107 games, lost 322, and tied 16. And they were worse than their record indicated, because in recent years many of their games have been against the junior varsity teams of other colleges. While Caltech ranks among the top schools in the nation for excellence in science and technology, it has never offered football scholarships. About the closest coach Tom Gutman has come to recruiting, according to a Wall Street Journal story, was “lurking in the bushes” around the school while students played intramural touch football. The Caltech players were said to be the only ones in the nation whose IQs (above 140 on the average) approached their weights. The team’s highlights were few. In 1967 Caltech defeated California State University at San Diego (they mean UCSD) , 34–31, a humiliation that caused San Diego to give up football. Small player turnouts hurt Caltech. Coach Gutman recalled one “fabulous” first-half performance which ended with Caltech leading Pomona College, 28–27. “But since our guys had to play both offense and defense, as usual, we were physically worn down in the second half,” he added. Final score: Pomona 74, Caltech 28. The turnout for 1977 was so small, in fact, that the school dropped football from its program indefinitely. Missing, too, will be the Beavers’ inspiring cheer:

Secant, cosine, tangent, sine

Logarithm, logarithm,

Hyperbolic sine

3 point 1 4 1 5 9

Slipstick, sliderule

TECH, TECH, TECH.

Nor will the school’s first-down cheer be heard.

Punt, punt, punt,

Punt, punt, punt,

PUNT, PUNT, PUNT.