Un-Divorce?

emeraldkity4
Wed, 04 Aug 2010 22:26:49 +0000

Isn’t overcoming hard-wiring what separates us from the animals?

Well that of course is what Rose Sayer would say. ;)

But hard wiring is also what kept us alive long enough to raise those kids till they could fend for themselves.

When your propagation hormones are strongest- say in your early 20’s, you haven’t necessarily figured out what * you want* let alone what kind of person you want to be in 20 years and it is an educated guess to pick someone who has the qualities that complement yours.
More often though I think- we might skew toward someone that is more like us than we realize, which can make for some big conflicts.
Rejecting them- may be difficult- because it could feel like rejecting yourself-

I agree that as we get older- we have learned a lot about letting go of what bugs us & the simple logistical things- like shared housing, someone to share meals with, can mean alot. If you aren’t interested in getting married again- it really doesn’t make a lot of sense to get divorced unless you are someone who needs clear boundaries for relationships ( but divorce still really doesn’t give you that)