Undergraduate > Graduate Loans

sk8rmom
Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:14:49 +0000

She says she’s definitely willing to help me pay for school, through getting her own loans and such (and this already puts me into a better situation than she was in), but she frequently tells me “not to worry to much about it, you’ll find a way that will work”. I suppose I’m just trying to say that she doesn’t seem to treat it with the same seriousness that you do here.



I don’t mean to offend anyone, but find it odd that lots of parents say they will help with expenses but don’t specify exactly what level that support will be and have never actually saved any significant amount of money for their kid’s education…why is that? Were they having to pay off her own education, making significantly less money, etc? What’s changed that suddenly they think they’ll have thousands more a year, after taxes, to make loan payments that will escalate every year their kid is in school and will continue for years beyond that?

Unfortunately, every year there are parents who have last minute second thoughts when they realize that THEY will end up tens of thousands in debt at a point in their lives when they should be doing serious saving and planning for retirement. Or they find out that they simply won’t qualify for enough in loans to make it work (a blessing in disguise, imo). Their kid is unhappy that they cannot attend the school they told their friends they’d be going to and even more unhappy if the parents have a late epiphany (and an astonishing number seem to) and they have already turned down their other choices. Those kids are pretty much limited to a gap year, CC, or the relatively few schools that still have space available after May 1st and they are not happy campers.

UT, if you were my kid and I knew we couldn’t afford your dream school without significant, but unknown, FA then I would make sure that you to applied to one or more financial safeties. They would likely be an instate public, an OOS public with reasonable tuition and scholarships, and/or a private school that would either guarantee to meet 100% need with no/low loans or have guaranteed merit scholarships. Perhaps one that would give you options to study in Washington, as another parent suggested. Or one that would give you a good chance of being accepted to your dream school and program as a transfer for the last two years. I would NOT say “don’t worry, you’ll figure it all out” because, as cpt said, private schools just cost way too much now for most kids to have a prayer of coming up with the amount needed unless they have very good scholarships.

It’s not a myth that times have changed for students! For example, thirty years ago I paid most of my own way through a similar private university, with a few scholarships and a steady 20 hour/week paid government internship, and ended up with less than $10K in debt (which was probably average, or a bit above, for the time period). I lived in a very cheap apartment with roommates, shopped at thrift stores, drove a 20 year old car, and generally cut lots of corners to make it work because it was a challenge and a point of pride for me (I had three younger siblings, mom was a teacher and dad was a musician). Although I had a solid degree and experience, I struggled at times to keep my bills current through recessions, layoffs, salary cuts, and relocations and was very glad that my student loan payment was only $53 a month, which was around 5% of my take-home pay in the early years (and I know kids now that are taking their first jobs after college for nearly the same salary that I was making, but taxes, benefits, and housing costs have increased dramatically). I replaced my car with a newer model but essentially continued my student lifestyle, with roommates but in a better house/neighborhood, for another 8 years until I really felt that I was on my feet financially and professionally and wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck…and that can change rather quickly when houses and kids enter the mix or, as in my case, a sudden illness/disability occurs!

My kids, even with college funds, a reasonable amount of help from me, and a proportional amount of financial aid, scholarships, debt, and work simply could not afford that school today because costs have escalated so much faster than financial aid, loan caps, and salaries. Even if they could borrow enough to make up the difference, around 1/3 of the current COA or $20K/year, chances are good that they would not be able to meet the required payments of $800+ every month and would likely end up in the nightmare of default if life didn’t work out perfectly for them (and what life does?). I understand these are tough choices to make and I suppose one could rely on something like IBR/PSLF to kick in, but what would happen if that doesn’t work out? Or if they, like your mom and many others, end up not working in their original field and take lower paying jobs in order to change fields and potentially have to make payments for 25 years while trying to have a life and raise a family? It’s just not a gamble I’d take with my kid’s (and grandkids) future…way too many unknowns and it leaves them with very few options, especially if they get so far into debt that they can’t afford to graduate!