USC essay: need some feed back

<p>hello I am going to apply to USC university of southern california for fall 2012 and am doing my essay on this prompt please read my essay and tell me what ya think:)
Thank you</p>

<p>PROMPT:
Thomas Edison failed many times before successfully inventing the modern electric light bulb. He said, "If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." Reflect on a challenge you overcame through persistence.</p>

<p>ESSAY: </p>

<pre><code>Sitting at my desk in the tenth grade, I anticipated the CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam). Receiving huge packets of review in my English and math classes made me overwhelmed and think of all the dead trees. The whole sophomore class prepared themselves all fall for a test that sounds like a man, with a childish name who wanted to determine if you were dumb or smart. I was nervous yet confident because I had watched a special in my English class about a book called “The Secret” that week. A saying from the special stuck in my head, “If you believe you can you can and if you believe you can’t you can’t”. I was high off self confidence and convinced that believing in me is like a magic wand that can make things come true. Throughout grade school and middle school, I was always that hopelessly confused kid who responded “I get it” when a math teacher would ask “do you get it?” knowing deep down I was terribly clueless, it was as if I was cursed by the math gods. No matter how hard I concentrated, I always found a way to mess up on math test. Math is like disarming a bomb, one wrong more and you blew up any chance of getting a passing grade. I told myself “Trena this is elementary algebra, it’s a piece of cake”, blocking out the fact I never passed elementary algebra and cake didn’t make my brain hurt. The morning had come to take the test that sounded like a childish man and I was excited, thing it was a step closer to getting out of high school. It felt like it was judgment day and would I be let out of the pearly gates of education? I finished the math portion of the CAHSEE curtained I had passed, but to my surprise I didn’t. Two months post CAHSEE, I received my results in the mail and I hadn’t passed, I was devastated. Despite being devastated, it isn’t in my character to except failure, so I took the math portion of the CAHSEE two more times and one last time my senior year. My senior year was the last chance I had to pass,
</code></pre>

<p>“This is the last time
to get it right!
This is the last chance
to make it or not!”
Lyrics from the movie High School Musical 3, repeated in my head as I walked into my last attempt at success. I was frightened, frightened at the fact that a fifty question math test could out way four years of my life and making my family proud. Although, I was scared I persevered and block out my doubts. I doubted myself many of times, but I knew how important my education was, so I kept trying and trying until I succeeded on my last try, I kept fighting on! Like a true Trojan.</p>

<p>please don't post your essay on the internet. others can steal it and use it as their own. take it down if you can.</p>

<p>There are a few grammatical/word use errors. For example:
"curtained" instead of "certain"
"except" instead of "accept"
"out way" instead of "out weigh"</p>

<p>There are also quite a few instances where a comma is misplaced. You should have an adult/English teacher proofread this essay to help point out some other errors.</p>

<p>I liked the part about the cake though:)</p>