What is my essay missing?

Reda1234
Sun, 07 Jul 2013 08:10:07 +0000

Hello to all of the Users of CC, I’m an international student currently living in Lebanon who is planning to study abroad in the U.S, nice to meet you all. I was one of those that took the SAT test for the first time in June , and while I didn’t score well enough (700 M, 650 CR , 610 W ) for an overall score of 1960, I’m not planning to give up just yet. Now on to the main topic of this thread, I received a score of 8 on the essay ( a 4 from each reviewer), and I’ve been wondering whether i can get the feedback of the users here regarding the essay I wrote in the test and how i can improve my technique for the next one.

ESSAY PROMPT

Thanks to the Internet, people have more access to more information than at any other time in history. People can instantly find information on almost any topic in the time it takes to type a couple of words and click a mouse. But we often know so little about the source of this information, including its reliability and the qualifications of the person who wrote it. If we do not know its source, information is not much good to us.

ASSIGNMENT: Do people need to know the source of any information before they use it? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Now onto my essay:

The Internet has truly created a new era in the field of communication and data transfer, along with this new age came the access to an enormous amount of information and news, and while this might seem very helpful at first, it could cause a myriad of problems and misconceptions, as we do not know who wrote these articles and pages nor do we know the sources they used to acquire their information.

For starters the world is in never ending turmoil and war between sides or countries of conflicting interests, the internet being the source of the latest upgrades and news that it is, provides us with the latest information regarding these conflicts, but as internet users skim through the uncountable pages and articles found on the world wide web they are bound to come across articles written by biased writers, as a result the mind of the reader is filled with lies and misconceptions instead of truth , thus one must always check for the sources of these articles and the writers who posted them.

Another reason is that some professions demand it’s workers are constantly updated with the latest discoveries and information, thus being exposed to erroneous and unreliable information could drive the worker into making several mistakes, and quite possibly leading to the injuries and deaths of consumers especially in fields such as engineering. Thus it’s necessary that one makes sure of the credibility of writers and their sources.

Checking for the sources might be a dilatory action but it holds great advantages for the person, as it protects him from lies and misconception that might alter his untainted and correct views, in addition it could help in avoiding mistakes and causalities.

and this is it, all help is greatly appreciated.