What Men Want

TourGuide446
Thu, 31 May 2007 20:03:27 +0000

I hope women appreciate the fact that none of us knuckle-draggers has mentioned Charlton Heston’s silent, compliant, and gorgeous gal-pal in “Planet of the Apes.” Or any of the other knockouts who’ve portrayed pre-historic eye candy (Rae Dawn Chong [forget the name, but she was quite the babe], Raquel Welch [in 1 Million Years BC], and of course Betty Rubble).

Who’s more enchanting, Julie Christie’s character in “Dr. Zhivago” or her character in “Heaven Can Wait”?

Also, I’m surprised that women have not countered with male characters who make them melt…perhaps because they are embarrassed by how non-P.C. these guys are. Example #1 is ALWAYS Mickey Rourke’s abusive character in “9.5 Weeks.” To start an argument in mixed company, all you have to do is bring up 9.5 Weeks. The women tend to melt and they guys tend to go “yuck!”

The final nail in the feminist coffin for me was when I spent a lot of time in England in the mid-80’s and all the women there were swooning over Sly Stallone’s mono-syllabic character in the Rambo movies. It’s hard to imagine that these panting women were from the homeland of Hugh Grant.

Also, the men here should be commended for not mentioning any of the numerous hookers-with-the-heart-of-gold characters…Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, Jane Fonda in Klute, Donna Reed in From Here to Eternity (apparently the character’s profession was cleaned up for the movie), and so on. Also, please notice that there have been no supervixen nut-busting temptresses like Liz Taylor as Cleopatra or Rita Hayworth as “Gilda.” Nut busting is NOT, repeat NOT, something we relish (all evidence to the contrary).

Actors that women seem to love and guys don’t get it: Mickey Rourke, Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp. And so on. Most guys have spent a lifetime trying to be the opposite of these pencil-necked slobs.