What should Daughter Say?

Pizzagirl
Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:28:58 +0000

Does anyone honestly believe that the kids don’t know, at least approximately, where each stands? They’re in the same classes. They take the same tests. They see each other’s grades. They text each other SAT scores. They ask about what schools are on the summer tour itinerary.



Yes. I do believe it. Our family culture is sort of a fly-under-the-radar with an emphasis on privacy and we really have discouraged interest in other people’s grades. In our family culture, disclosing SAT scores to classmates would be about as odd as disclosing what we all weigh or what’s in our bank accounts. I know which of their friends are generally “smart” and in advanced classes, and what (general) EC’s they have (sports, dance, etc.). The specifics of their friends’ GPA, SAT, accomplishments in EC? Nothing I’d concern myself with in the least. And other, random classmates? Even less so.

Here’s a specific. I just returned from watching my D play her varsity sport. I asked about a friend of D’s who I didn’t see there. D replied that her friend had quit tennis and was now focusing on dance. Oh, okay - I hope she likes it. It’s no concern of mine what type of dance, whether her dancing is through school or elsewhere, whether it’s recreational and she’s one step above ballet for five-year-olds, or whether she’s the top ballerina in the state. Her friend enjoys dance and is happy pursuing it as a hobby / EC – that’s all I need or want to know.