What should Daughter Say?

Olymom
Sat, 19 Sep 2009 22:14:39 +0000

Ohh, time for some stealth Jane Austen. Take Pushy Mom to coffee. Be great if you can also take along Some Fine Mom as a previously clued in support. Talk generally, and then lower your voice to a whisper and say “Have you heard this one? I heard that there is this mom who goes around trying to figure out every student’s class rank? Have you ever heard of such an aggressive woman?” Then sit back with big Bambi eyes. If she huffs and puffs that such information is naturally sought, then sound shocked, shocked, shocked that anyone could be so intrusive. No yelling – just face of social horror.

Start doing the spade work at PTO, soccer fields, theater intermission or whatever that shows that you (and friends) think it is tacky, tacky, tacky to discuss class rank or where kids are applying to college. You absolutely CAN change the culture of a school. Be shrewd. Be cunning. Be tenacious. You are doing this for your kid and every other kid who is made miserable by such nosiness. What you put in place can last for years.

Even better if you go to the counseling center and express your deep concern about kids being pressured to discuss stats. Maybe the counselors have been dying with Ms. Pushy on their doorstep and you can give them the opening they need to tell all seniors and parents “We have had parents concerned about the discussions on class standing. It is now the policy of the X High School Counseling Department to discourage the discussion of high school statistics of our seniors. The picture is constantly changing and gossip about standings can be hurtful and are often incorrect. Please focus on discovering the path that suits you best.” —