What's wrong with people?

austinmshauri
Sat, 30 Dec 2017 18:50:13 +0000

It’s pretty funny to see so many people on this thread say they had no idea some people find touch unwelcome, AND ALSO to see so many people say that if someone finds a touch unwelcome they should suck it up and not react the normal way a person would react when they are subjected to an unpleasant experience by another person.

This is my interpretation as well. The underlying question seems to be is it okay to touch people you don’t really know if you mean well. It surprises me that so many say yes, and that those of us who don’t like it should just “suck it up.” There seems to be no understanding of the difference between a slight touch of an arm to get someone’s attention in the bleachers and the more intimate expression of putting your hand on someone’s shoulder in an attempt to express compassion. I’m baffled by the assumption that not appreciating the touch of people we don’t know well means we don’t like touch at all.

I’m not trying to upset OP. This actually has very little to do with her. Some people are reserved. If we’re expected to moderate our behavior to offer a weak smile, Miss Manner’s style, to every intrusion of our personal space, than the touchy/feely people of the world should be expected to do the same. If you could do it without the assumption that there’s something wrong with us for having a different preference, so much the better.