When college kids "Feel like a Fraud"

musicprnt
Tue, 11 Jul 2017 20:27:44 +0000

I have seen this, for some it was kids who were the big fish hitting the big time , friend of mine at work, one of the founders of the company, went to MIT and he said there were a group of kids who are good enough to get in there, who when faced with the reality of the school, end up for example being the ones who major in things like business admin or philosophy, still really bright people but whereas they might have been at the top of the curve at even a competitive high school, at MIT they were average or lower, and they could feel like this.

In music this happens a lot, kids compare themselves and feel like “holy cow” when they get into top level programs and see the level of some of the kids, kids who have artists management, who have done high level soloing, etc. Even though my S kind of already had experienced that, coming out of Juilliard’s pre college program, still it can be daunting when you see those who have seemingly accomplished much. In my S’s case it came out, when he got into all these high level programs with really top level teachers “oh, they did that because they thought it would be fun to work with me because I am very musical” (like, really? These are teachers who have hundreds of kids applying to be in their studio, have the pick of kids at incredibly high levels, and they picked him for ‘fun’? Wanted to slap him around with that one grrr). He even had it with grad school admissions, until he started seeing kids he thought were so much better than him either not getting in or getting good merit packages, and I hope woke up a bit. On the other hand with the way music is, where most kids do go onto grad programs, he is feeling ‘like a fraud’ because he sees kids he knows who went to ‘regular’ college who are coming out, working, and feels like a fraud because they are out of school and he is still in school sigh…it is what happens when you compare yourself to others, in other words, you can always find reasons to put yourself down or feel inadequate:)