Which dorm would you choose?

b_r_um
Mon, 18 Apr 2011 23:46:01 +0000

Being introverted will always put you at a disadvantage. It’s a liability in every facet of life and isn’t a trait desirable to anyone. If you’re shy, you should challenge your social skills by putting yourself in social situations. Living in a social dorm will give you the opportunity to bolster your social acumen and broaden your network. Never limit yourself.

That’s exactly what I tried to do as a freshman. I ended up feeling inadequate, depressed and lonely. I agree that overcoming shyness is a good goal to word towards, but surrounding myself with people significantly more outgoing than myself only set me up for failure.

The social students were nice to me on a superficial level but had no interest whatsoever in developing closer friendships with me. Retrospectively I am not surprised. Being as self-conscious as I was, I probably wasn’t very fun to be around and the outgoing students had plenty of other people to socialize with. However, at that time everyone else’s distant behavior towards me just reconfirmed my own inadequacy and made me even more self-conscious. After a few weeks I actively withdrew from people. I felt like I was the only student in the school without any friends and spent my Friday nights by myself in my dorm room.

Fast forward a year. Now living in an “anti-social” dorm, I was surrounded by other shy students who felt as lonely as I did. I realized that others are struggling with the same issues that I was struggling with, which made it much easier for me to approach them. We bonded over shared challenges and soon I had a few close friends. These friendships built up my self-esteem and allowed me to practice and refine my social skills. Slowly I ventured out and started to socialize with some of the more outgoing kids. The second time around was more successful, but I really needed a secure base of introvert friends first.