Why would a girl do this

mikemac
Tue, 29 Jan 2013 13:36:30 +0000

This girl doesn’t like you. Never did. That’s why she always had a “valid” excuse when you suggested getting together. But she seems like a decent person, and rather than dividing the world into “guys I hang out with” and “guys I won’t give the time of day” she is willing to be friendly with most, as long as they can figure out the boundaries.

You crossed the boundary. As casual conversation she played along with your amazing exploit on the gym machine, but you couldn’t let it rest and had to turn it into “let’s go to the gym together”. So now she realizes you’ve never understood the message, and now is worried that even worse you interpreted her answer to imply she wants to spend time together (which, BTW, you kinda did).

She doesn’t want to go to the gym with you, just like she politely turned down your previous attempts to hang out together (a “valid excuse” being much nicer than a “Are you kidding me?!! Hell no.”) Unlike previous things you tried to get her to do where a single “valid excuse” appears to have sufficed to take them off the table, the gym is always going to be there and she’s not going to be able to keep coming up with excuses if you keep asking her to go. If she talks with you now she’s worried you’re going to pester her about going to the gym; if not every time you talk, then at least regularly.

My advice is let it go. Be friendly when you see her but stop texting, emailing, stopping by, etc. Don’t apologize; that’s just going to be awkward and make things worse. Let things cool off. If she wants more contact you’ll get it, otherwise chalk this up to misreading the signs. There are a lot more fish in the sea. Many guys have a “three and out” rule; they’ll ask someone 3x to get together, but figure after 3 turndowns there is a message being sent (regardless of how nicely said or “valid” the turndowns seem). In fact I remember one girl who, aware of this rule, was a bit miffed because there was a guy she actually was interested in but that she legitimately had to turn down 3x, and she expected he would never ask again (nor did he).