Will I survive winter break?

mom2three
Fri, 21 Dec 2007 15:40:53 +0000

In my case it would be about respect of other people’s property… My son is heading to a bowl game 4 states away with a bunch of friends. My aunt has offered to let them stay at her house, and they are happy to have a free place to stay. While I’m worried, I’m letting him go, and glad he’s going to have a great time.

OTOH, I would NOT be happy with the 7 of them staying at anyone’s home without the owner being present. Note that I didn’t say “an adult.” I said OWNER. Your parents may feel (as I would) that IF something were to happen, (damage of property) while the owners are not there, they’d feel responsible for making it right. And the folks who feel responsible often end up holding the bag.

I’ve raised 3 boys. Someone once told me that after a certain number of males are in a group, for each one you add all their IQ’s drop 10 points. I’m not SURE that this is the explanation, but I’ve certainly seen situations where this theory would explain a lot.

Just remember “adult” isn’t a number. “Adult” is paying your own way, holding down a job, paying the bills, etc., etc. As long as the young people I raised are coming back to my home from someplace I’m paying for, I have no problem in asking them to follow my rules. In a few years (God willing) they’ll be visiting from their own homes. At that point I hope they’ll be pleasant and respectful (in the not coming in at all hours and making too much noise sense of the word) houseguests.

To the OP - back to the issue at hand… I really think you should shift your energy from railing against the rule and arguing about it, to finding another solution to visiting your friends. What would you do if central-friend weren’t there?